I have so much going on in my mind today. It's going more than a million miles a minute. And this was not what I was expecting, since last night was quite satisfactory.
After riding home in the rain (argh.), a girlfriend of mine and I got together and had a much needed burn session of some old photos I ran across. The person in the photos has caused more than enough hurt and problems in my life, my friend's life, and my boyfriend's life. So we took a lighter to the memories, and got it all on video. Those memories died last night.
And then today hit me. As some already know, my boyfriend's ex is currently pregnant. He and I started up our relationship (for the second time) in August. She is due in June. June 12. You do the math.
So needless to say, my mind is racing, and I don't know whether or not I want to cry an ocean of tears or throw something very heavy at my mirror, or drive a hundred miles an hour too fast to somewhere all too far away.
What is done is done, and I cannot change the past. We were going through a rocky period when this all happened, and have been doing fine recently. I am not going to let past decisions ruin my now. But then there is a thing called trust... how does that fit in now...
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