The Arrival of JR

Well, it has been two weeks and I am finally finding a little spot of down time to provide you all with a quick update about the last few weeks of OUR lives J  Yes, OUR lives – Julianne Rose Mikesell was born December 15, 2011 at 9:24 in the evening, weighing in at 7’12, and measured 20 inches long.

I went into labor at about 8:30 that morning, and was immediately having steady contractions about 5 minutes apart.  My best friend, Julianne’s Godmother, Alison, picked me shortly thereafter on her way into work.  We took care of a few things there, made a quick stop at Target so she could get a different sweater (the jacket she was wearing was too small), and then proceeded to check into the hospital at about 11:30.  Apparently, I didn’t look like I was very much in labor, because it took about an hour before my nurse practitioner actually came to check my progress and see if I would be really admitted or sent home.  Sure enough, I surprised everyone by being almost 7 centimeters dilated and about 85 percent effaced.  At this point, they very quickly kicked into gear and got me to a labor room to proceed with the rest of everything.

Once I was in a room and settled, the rest of my labor crew showed up, which consisted of my high school friend Tara and good friend Liz.  My parents were out of town for the day, but were planning on being back that evening.  Thankfully, no one showed up that I didn’t want there, and it was a peaceful, drama-free event.

I had planned on a completely natural labor and delivery this go around, but due to severe lack of sleep over the previous 2 days (I had probably slept 5-6 hours of the last 50), I was overly exhausted, and didn’t want the whole rest of the day to be a miserable experience, so at about 2:30, I received an epidural.  And again, this time around, it was a much less stressful experience, happened easily and painlessly, and without complications… until 45 minutes later it still hadn’t really kicked in except in my feet L But of course this was no surprise to me – I have always had an extremely high tolerance for anesthesia, and this was no exception.  But, once it was doing its job, I was completely comfortable and ready for the day.

Soon after the epi, my NP came in to check me and, at 8 centimeters, offered to break my water, but since things were going smoothly, JR’s heart rate was normal, and I was comfortable, I just asked to let things happen at their own pace. 

At about quarter to nine, I had my doctors switch shifts, and they all came in to say goodbye or introduce themselves, and give me one last check.  At the exact moment that my NP went to attempt a check, my water decided it was going to EXPLODE… literally!  She gave a little shriek and jumped away while everyone was laughing hysterically.  My belly gave such a jerk I had thought JR had kicked or rolled over, but found out from all the laughing ladies around me that apparently I had nearly exploded all over everyone!  I guess not being able to really move positions had caused it to remain dormant until someone was poking at it! Haha!  As soon as that happened, they quickly brought in the new team of delivery nurses, and after about 3-4 pushes and 10ish minutes in live delivery, Julianne graced us with her presence and an immediate cry J My parents and my brother, by the way, did make it back just in time for delivery.

We spent two days in the hospital, receiving visits from friends, and spending lots of time cuddling and sleeping.

Since we’ve been home, we’ve done very well!  We had a quick hiccup while JR dealt with jaundice, and lost quite a bit of weight because of it, but thankfully, we were able to get her weight up to a point where they did not require her to be hospitalized.  We are now doing great, though, and she is a very wiggly, active little one, but does not give Mommy too many problems yet!

Sadly, her father is not in the picture, both by my decision, and his severe lack of taking responsibility.  I am hoping though, that he will come around and be willing to see her on occasion, and that things will not have to end up in court.

Thank you to everyone for the support, love, gifts, prayers… they are all very much needed and appreciated.  I feel much more settled, alive, and fulfilled these days, as God has blessed me with such peace and with such amazing friends and family.

JR and I love you all very much J

Just a Little Rant from a Single Mom...

The last week or so has been fairly uneventful, and so I do not have much to say as an update.

Working as a part-time "nanny" (of sorts) has been fun, and has also given me some time to relax before Julianne gets here.  The boys are all well-behaved, and are not too much of a handful, minus the occasional teenage boy moments that get the best of any young men their age, I suppose.  But it has been fun!  It definitely makes me want to have sons of my own even more than I already did.

But my biggest rant of the week follows a bombardment of text messages from my daughter's absentee father, who has been nothing but a pain and untrustworthy from the beginning.  This guy thinks he somehow is in a position to ask me how I am, or what I'm doing, or why I'm not at certain places... on and on and on...  It is none of his business!!  He thought little enough of me to abandon me when I was just a few weeks pregnant (after never being faithful to me in the first place), say horrible things to me, treat me in horrible ways, steal from me, use me, manipulate me... and the list goes on.  And he thinks that I would want to carry on event the smallest, most innocent conversation with him?

I think not!  This "man" (for lack of a better word) has done nothing but cause physical, mental and emotional stress, left me with no income, no money, and in debt.  Nothing good except the physical presence of my daughter in my life has come to me because of him.  There is no way, now that I have grown the strength to walk away from one of the most abusive situations in my life that I would EVER go back to that even in something as simple as a conversation. Ya. RIGHT.

I am not that stupid.  Not anymore.  I will have nothing to do with you, ever again.  Sorry.

What is it with some of the male species that makes them think that after someone has given them everything, loved them despite of all their flaws, forgiven them for things that no one else was willing to, defended them, covered for them, loved them unconditionally no matter what - what makes them think that it is fine for them to turn around and turn into a horrible monster?

Of course, I do not mean all men.  I know plenty of good ones, and I also know plenty of women who do the same kind of thing.  I do not excuse them by any means.  And I acknowledge that we live in a fallen world, with all sorts of evil, but sometimes I wonder how awful people can be and still defend themselves? How can anyone treat someone this way and continually think it is alright?

It's disturbing.

Okay. Rant over.

I am a strong, very independent woman who, thanks to my relationship with my Heavenly Father, is confident in who I am as a person, and is willing to put my heart out there.  If it gets broken, then so be it.  Part of that is on me, but I will never justify someone else's actions, either.  I will not live with regrets, and I will raise my daughter to have the most positive picture of her father that I can, without avoiding the truth.  She will always know that her Heavenly Father is the one who loves her the most, and I'm believing He will one day bring us someone who can be ten times the father and husband that her biological father could ever be.

It's that hope that I must hold on to, and that even in my darkest, most stressful sleepless nights, somewhere down the line, I will not spend them alone.

Stephanie Meyer versus Taylor Swift - I've Switched Teams

I have always been a country music fan, and I always will be.  I love the stories told by the songs, the authenticity of its artists, and the musicianship of all involved.  Although I may not always enjoy every song I hear on the radio, or like a live performance I see by an artist, it is usually something that is rare.

I have not, however, always been a fan of the Twilight craze that has happened across the world.  Vampires that sparkle just did not seem to fit in my perspective of the dark mythical tale that has circulated over the course of the years, and after viewing the first film, I had even less desire to view the others that were to follow than I had possessed before I ever saw the blue-hazed picture.

But it seems that this week, at least, I have switched teams.

I found myself extremely disappointed in a country music video released yesterday afternoon, and I thoroughly enjoyed the Twilight film which I saw this afternoon.

Taylor Swift has always had my respect for her songwriting ability.  There isn't a song of hers that I have not liked.  She has a way of expressing emotions or situations in a simplistic, relative, genuine way that is truly a gift.  Her recent single, "Ours", is one of my personal favorites from her latest album, "Speak Now", and I was quite expectant of the video that was to follow... only to be quite disappointed.

The video is bland, mildly put.  It is bland, boring and fails to express everything that the song attempts to be.  The appearance of the young soldier returning home at the end of the video adds a forced, "cheesy" to the piece, instead of it being a genuine, heartfelt happening that it could have been.  A hit of a song, a bomb of a video.  Something sad to see of a usually creative young artist.

I am certainly not a film guru, but Breaking Dawn: Part 1 is the best film of the saga yet. Though it still will certainly leave you feeling like you watched something incomplete (which, of course, you did).  Each of the films has been a step up from the last, and this fourth one is indeed following in that pattern.  The acting, the screenplay, the cinematography, the character development - it all has improved.  It also has quite intense, positive themes running throughout, all revolving around the redemption of souls, the absolute nature of right and wrong and doing the right thing despite popular belief, and the sanctity of life no matter the sacrifice.  Whether intentionally written this way or not, they are still thickly woven into the plot, and are strongly promoted.

Very well done.

I hope the last installment will live up to the fourth, and that Taylor Swift doesn't make the same mistake with her next video that she made with her latest.