Firsts and Lasts

This year has been one of firsts in this supposed last of its kind.  I suppose, too, it had been one of lasts as well, as lasts usually segue into some type of firsts.  I must say that each last has left me increasingly hopeful as each has led to an incredible virgin experience. Whether you see this year as a beautiful beginning to an end, or a fantastic end to a beginning, at last for me, this year will go down in my history books as the best of my first 22 years.

I started off the year as a first-time Mommy, and o, what a wonderful joy that has been.  There has not been a day that has gone by that I can not wait to see what my beautiful angel of a daughter is going to surprise me with.  She is crawling, toddling, "talking", eating "real" food; she laughs at anything and everything and loves spending time with her Mommy, Gamma and Auntee Becca.  She started out her life looking like a smitten image of her biological father and brother, but now has quite softened, and her features are beginning to take on that of myself, while still becoming uniquely her own.  She is quite the character!

I spent New Year's Eve out with friends for the first time, and had a blast hangin' with the boys.  My dear friend Mike took me out with him and our mutual friend, Jakub.  It was a night that began a few months of wonderful memories.

In March, I received my first car, still unnamed to this day.  I have "owned" two previous vehicles, but neither were ever registered or insured to me, and the full process was never completed, so to finally be able to fully, legally, own a car in my name was a great thrill and an even greater blessing.  I no longer had to walk all over town pushing J.R. in her stroller.  We could get from point A to point B efficiently and safely and I did not have to show up to work interviews a sweaty mess!!  Gas, however... that is another story.

In April, J.R. and I moved into our first HOME :)  It is just a little one bedroom/one bathroom home, but it is still our own, at least until we move in October.  We are quickly outgrowing the space, as J.R. is becoming increasingly mobile and is getting into everything! Not to mention, not having a dishwasher, or a washing machine while trying to take care of an infant makes everything ten times more difficult than it ever should be!

The summer continued to bring us all kinds of firsts, as J.R. went to her first rodeo, spoke her first word (which was "Mama"!), swam in her first pool, and began to crawl.  Mommy went on her first camping trip with friends, instead of just family, and took a trip to Tahoe and got to go to the Nevada County Fair with those same friends.  We had BBQ's and swim parties and all sorts of fun!

Being a parent, I have experienced my own firsts, as well as my daughter's.  My life is so fulfilling, and it only gets increasingly so with every day that passes.  I cannot wait to see what the rest of this year brings us, no matter the ending.

Updates from Mommy's World - 6 months later

I always swore that once my daughter entered the world, I would still find the time to keep up my blog, and have you all up to date on a frequent basis.  As we can see - that has not happened one bit!!  But here is my attempt to catch everyone up on the last 6 months of our lives.

Julianne Rose is growing, growing, growing!!  She has been a healthy baby since birth, minus her quick bout with jaundice for which she was never actually admitted back to the hospital.  At her last appointment in May, she was 22 inches long, and 13'5.  Right on schedule!  She has been smiling and laughing for months now, and now eats baby food for lunch and dinner, in addition to her bottles throughout the day.  She sleeps through the night, from about 9pm to 7am, if not longer.  And yesterday, she took her first "crawl"!  Granted, it was only one small "crawl" before falling back on her tummy, but after days and days of trying to get her hands and knees to work at the same time, she finally got it!  Mommy was quite proud!  She graduated from her pack 'n' play, to a real crib last month, when Gamma and Gammpa bought her one for an Easter present.  She has almost outgrown her bouncer, it seems, because she cannot manage to sit still, and even when she is buckled in, finds a way to nearly roll it over.  We are in the process of trying to find her a round walker so she can move around the house.  She has had strong legs since the day she was born, and has been able to stand on her own while holding onto something, for over a month now.  She will be fully mobile in no time at all!!  She loves to talk, and is just starting to find her "tickle spots".  Her full head of hair is back, although her hairline is rather amusing.  For those of you who recall, she was born with a very thick head of dark hair, which, of course, was rubbed off in the oddest spots.  She had a mohawk going for awhile, with three little rat tails on the back of her head, one on each side, and directly in the middle.  Now, her peach fuzz is finally growing back.  I plan on letting it all grow as it wants, until it is long enough that I can cut it without cutting it too short.  It is all now light brown like her Mommy's with little baby curls surrounding her ears.  Within the last two weeks, she has cut through her first two teeth, and did so without a problem.  I did not even realize they had come through until she bit me one day!  She is such a trooper.  Every one just loves her, and I do not have a problem finding someone to watch her.  She is an absolute angel, and so easy to take care of.  She is happy and content and truly does not have a care in the world unless she is hungry or ready for bed!!  I have been so blessed.  I always knew the one thing in life I wanted was to be a Mommy.  But I never dreamed that it would be so satisfying, and that I could possibly love it as much as I do.  I wouldn't trade it for a single thing in the world, ever.  Being J.R.'s Mommy is worth every pain and frustration that happens in the rest of life.

And, of course, with a child comes a father.  I thank you all so much for your prayers, encouragement, and help regarding our situation with J.R.'s father.  It has been a rough, rough road, and it does not look like it is going to be getting any easier any time soon.  It is sad to me that someone can view the responsibility of parenting as a convenience, and yet expects to reap the benefits and rewards of having a child.  As most of you know, her father has put me through hell on earth for the past year.  He has lied to the courts time and time again, his most recent lie, claiming that there was domestic violence in my home, and demanding a change in the custody order.  Granted, the judge passed over his request within a matter of minutes, but the stress of the situation still exists, no matter how absurd his claims are.  There is no need to go into great detail of the day-to-day stresses that he causes, but your prayers would be greatly appreciated, as it seems a day cannot go by without him picking a fight.

J.R. currently sees her dad 3 times a week, four hours at a time.  By the second week of July, he will also add one overnight visit to his week, and by September 15, he will be having her two nights a week as well as whatever parenting plan we come up with.  Again, please pray for a change either in him, or in the court orders, as I am greatly worried for J.R.'s mental and emotional wellbeing, especially long-term, if this order stays in place.

Other than the issue of Mr. Strong, our lives are moving along fantastically.

Last month I opened up bank accounts for us, finally.   This is something I haven't been able to do in quite awhile due to my lack of income.  Not only do J.R. and I each have checking and savings accounts, but I was also able to open accounts for my new business, which is on the writing block as we speak.  Slowly but surely I hope to see it come to fruition in the near future.

Other than that, life is pretty normal!  We just are enjoying it day by day, and are excited to see what's to come.

Stay tuned!

Guilty Pleasures of a Stay-at-Home Mommy

Tomorrow is my first day of no longer being a full-time stay-at-home mommy, and as much as I hate the idea of being away from my beautiful angel, it is only a few hours, and I am extremely excited to be going back to a job that I love so much.  It is just one more thing to be so incredibly excited about in this new year.

But I also still consider myself a full time mommy, and am still MOSTLY at home with J.R., and with that comes hours and hours of wondering what to do with myself while she sleeps - which is most of the time these days.

I have found ways to consolidate all my mommy duties, and since I do not have a family to feed, I do not spend hours cooking meals, or doing loads of laundry.  My daughter is such an easy child, that my time is not spend calming a screaming baby, or cleaning up countless onesies and blankets covered in spit-up.  So I have found other ways of filling my time.  Of course, I have productive things I do... many constant thank you cards and emails are being sent out, cleaning and organizing our little room so that when we move into our own place, it is all ready to go and easy to unpack.

But I also have discovered some of my guilty pleasures, some of which, I already had.

As you can probably guess, my social networking is most likely what I spend most of my spare time doing.  My facebook keeps me in touch with my close family and friends, with updates about our lives and theirs.  It has been so nice being back in touch with people I would otherwise have lost all contact with.

My tumblr has become a place for me to simply zone out, and look for inspiration for all areas of my life - my writing, my future, my style.  It has also given me a chance to "meet" people all over the world, and make friendships with quite interesting individuals.  I also have made contact with people who have been helpful and useful in my plight as a single mother, and for advice regarding our custody case and legal issues.

I have resorted to using pinterest to consolidate all of my lists in life to one place... My to-do lists, my bucket lists, my shopping lists, my recipe book, my bucket list.  Everything I do or use in my life is on a board somewhere, and easily accessed.

Google Plus is turning into my networking site for the people who will be involved with/in my business, and then personal friends as well.  It is still getting set up, and I am still learning its ins and outs, but so far, it is working well for me!

CafeMom is my terrific source of information, tips, and network of other moms all over the world.  I have loved interacting with them, and learning what has worked for them and what has not in the world of Mommyhood.

But my other guilty pleasure that is always a part of my day?? NETFLIX!  O my goodness, I have overused that resource, I believe.  It introduced me to the magic of Friday Night Lights and how deep my love of a small town runs, the ridiculousness of The Secret Life of the American teenager and its ability to make me despise people that do not actually exist, and helped me fall ever more in love with the souls of One Tree Hill and once again inspire me as I always was.  And now the latter is back for one final season.  I cannot tell you how happy I am that it has returned.  But I must admit, I actually tear up that it will not be back.  I spent the last nine and a half years watching these characters and now it is as if they are real people in my life!!!! Bahahahahaha.  How absurd do I sound!  Once it ends, I'll have to find some new pretend friends :)

What about the rest of you?  Any other guilty mommy pleasures you enjoy that I should check out to broaden my horizons?

Third Time's a Charm

Well folks, we are ten days into the new year, and already my life has started coming together in such incredible ways... And yet has the potential to fall apart in so many more, although I am choosing to keep my positive outlook on things!

I spent New Years Eve with an old friend of mine, and it was wonderful to get some quality time in with him.  I hadn't had the chance to do that in over a year, and I had forgotten how much fun I have when I am with him.  It was the best way I could have chosen to spend the start to what I am determined to make the best year of my life.

Over the last ten days, I have also accomplished quite a lot of little things that have made my to-do-list quite daunting.

I finally replaced the jeans I sold, and now have three pairs that I love just as much as the incredibly expensive ones that I owned previously.  I also was able to a little more shopping for myself including some shirts, a make-up bag that has given the ability to finally organize the mess that being a girl causes, and many new outfits for my little J.

I also began my supplements again, and my "only healthy food" diet, and cannot wait to be back in shape like I used to be!  So far, the only thing I have eaten that broke my rules was a Taco Bell Burrito... ugh.

But the best part of this year so far has been the return of a very dear person into my life.  I now have the love of my life back, and he already is an amazing dad to my beautiful daughter.  I do not know what I ever did without him.  I cannot say I regret walking away from him for the time I did - we both needed to grow up and discover things about ourselves before we could ever find a way to be in each other's lives again.  But as God has healed us both and matured us both to a different point in our lives, our lives individually mesh so much better together, and I truly did not think I could ever be this happy.  I am beyond blessed in this life I have.

Julianne's biological father, however, continues to try and cause interruptions and chaos in our lives in the name of his "rights"... it's too bad that as concerned he is about having fatherly "rights" that he is that much unconcerned about her well-being.  I am so thankful for David, and the care he has for Julianne, and the example he will be about what a Daddy should be.

Over all, life these days is good!  Even with the stresses that come with trying to do what's best for my family, I still see that every day is incredibly blessed, and that I do have so much to thank my Lord for every single moment.